Why is it that drama always starts late? Whereas comedy always seems to have started already.

I had a real life completely separate from beliefs, from the common reality made up of shared beliefs...

Who are you not to be yourself?

Everyday objects shriek aloud.

Ryder Delaney was the one imperfection in my life.He was the bad boy, black sheep, the one your mother always warned you about.He had only one hard-and-fast rule-Don't Fall In Love

Go and nose out the next piece of shit... as one said in the trade. If nothing else was available, you could run an article on the latest miracle diet. That always worked.

You know why Guns n' Roses aren't a good band? Because no black people listen to them.

Poetry forces a writer to condense and crystallise his thoughts and often represents a short cut to truths unsuspected by the author himself.

People took the word "clean" out of context. My mother had an expression: "clean as a whistle, sharp as a tack." I inherited her originality.

I never thought I was funny, but I enjoy being funny

I want to give moral relativism the good spanking it deserves.

Leave to your opinions their own quiet undisturbed development, which, like all progress, must come from deep within and cannot be pressed or hurried by anything.