Why should I be feeling tension? It's The Daily Show.

If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.

I just want to do cool stuff.

Once I found out how much an Off-Off-Broadway actor makes, I was whoring myself out the next day.

I learned more about elections on election night 2000 than I ever did during my 16 years of schooling.

I have a wife and two daughters; people who depend on me. Everything is more important than it was when I was 20. But now I'm like, "Eh, I made it this far."

I want to manufacture a feud.

If anything, there's more at stake when you're older, and more responsibility and more legitimate things to worry about.

I get all of my comedy from CNN.

I don't like gadgets for their own sake. I like gadgets that are tools. And I like simple gadgets that do one thing really well like a hammer.

I have to stay true to myself.

Wisdom is the pillar of success.

You don't need to have the whole world in your hands in order to live a very fulfilled life.

You got a child to feed and a life to get on with.

What qualifies me to tell people how to act or what to think? I'm Charley Pride, country singer. Period.

It is a strange thing how little in general people know about the sky. It is the part of creation in which nature has done more for the sake of pleasing man.

There is an old saying: a champion is someone who is willing to be uncomfortable.

I have learned that the cost of everything from a royal suite to a bottle of soda water can be halved by the simple expedient of saying it must be halved.

The film business is absurd. Stars don't last very long. It's much more interesting to be a proper actor.

Making love in the green grass behind the stadium with you my brown eyed girl.

My number one thing was that if I ever did get successful enough to make it, I wanted to be able to give back to my family.