Wichtor’s been cranky ever since a fat vulture roosted on his granite Cârnat, uh, schmekel in 1864 and broke it off." — Bats 2015

...causing her eyes to bulge and her tongue to flick from behind her luscious lips, scaring away insects." — Amok 2015

Elizabeth served herself to Vlad upon the Lazy Susan (Susan wasn’t lazy. She was actually dead." — Bats 2015

He sniffed until the long hairs of his mustache had been sucked up into his nose and out of his leafy ears." — Bats 2015

Purrrrrrrr” Elizabeth kneaded Vlad's pecs. “I hear a Kitty!” Vlad’s eyes sprung open. There was a moment of hurt, of sad. There was no kitty. “You’re teasing me!" — Bats

Elizabeth poured the brewskilicious foam over her aforementioned bodalicious huzza-huzzas and Wahwahzoozie." — Bats 2015

Gentle With Them Thar Spurs'—a sequel to 'Riders of the Purple Sau-Sage.' Spurs was the feminist novel of its day…which was Tuesday." —Bats 2015

Do it for the kids! The ones who look up to you — especially when they are pleading for their lives." — Bats 2015

She could feel something unnatural following her every movement as she washed her bountiful Huzza and Wahzoozie" — BATS

...an ambitious array of dishonorable intentions that he intended to wield upon the Countess’s nether regions. — BATS 2015

They’re dogs. Never trust a man. Even when he’s dead. Especially when he’s dead. — Bats 2015

Some people talk of Africa being a continent cursed not blessed with minerals, but the real curse is the leaders and politicians of Africa

We have real enemies in the world. These enemies must be found. They must be pursued and they must be defeated.

Hate cannot overcome hate; only love can do that.

O that it might remain eternally green, The beautiful time of youthful love.

Some things are best left alone. Such as interfering in things which are beyond our powers.

All rock music is fake news.

I support Selfies! I think the war on selfies is really unjust!

My dear friend, clear your mind of can't.

The professional does not wait for inspiration; he acts in anticipation of it.

I think I now understand why it is that the young are so very nostalgic. They have so little by way of personal history that they polish it up and make it shine like a treasured heirloom.