Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.

God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.

Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.

Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.

It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.

This is America. We must defend the principles symbolized by Lady Liberty - unless she's on the pill, in which case, she is a giant green tramp.

Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.

Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit to stupidity.

What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!

The power you give others belongs to you. Take it back and take yourself where you would go.

No matter how many plans you make or how much in control you are, life is always winging it.

My faith is a tool I employ, a metaphorical context I find apt, but it is inert until placed in a hand that needs it.

We sit here on the oasis of human consciousness and the verbal plane trying to talk about something that we just have to go and see and do and feel.

Jazz to me is the spirit of freedom. I mean real freedom. Freedom to explore. Freedom to express. Freedom to pour out your guts.

I have always dressed somewhat well - not because I work at GQ - but because my wife is amazing at finding clothes that disguise my waistline.

Too many people, right now are playing it small. If you want to be SUCCESSFUL, Live BIG, Think BIG, & make every day of your life COUNT!

Leaders don't inflict pain - they share pain.

Human beings are creators, flinging powerful images into the minds of their fellow men. And all of these images are built of tiny particles of thought.

Duets is about six people, so it's like three different movies - three different duets. I was on the set 18 days, spread out over three and a half or four weeks.