William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

It was the ideal place where people call ‘home.

All women may not be beautiful but every woman can look beautiful.

The valuable attributes of research men are conscious ignorance and active curiosity.

In life we always have some measure of control whether it be over our emotions or choices, but when it comes to cancer? The only thing you can control is how you respond to it

Great friendship is never without anxiety.

I played in a basketball league until I was 40 years old. I played every Monday night and the guys would say, "You take him out, and you'll see us afterwards."

I'll stand beside you through the years, you'll only cry those happy tears. And though I'll make mistakes, I'll never break your heart.

I had a lot of frustrations about my career. A lot of, you know, times where I felt I should've been considered for a part that I wasn't considered for.

I want babies too," he said huskily. "Daughters as beautiful as you are.

I like to work for a while, and then do nothing for some period.