Win and you are the superior being in all the universe; lose, and may the fleas of a million rodents, infect your every orifice.

Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.

I didn't quit drinking because I was a bad drunk. I quit because I was a spectacular drunk. It got to be like a video game, where you get to the highest level and it's not even a challenge any more.

The world's No. 1 tennis player spends 90 percent of his time winning, while the world's No. 1 golfer spends 90 percent of his time losing. Golfers are great losers.

I was swinging like a toilet door on a prawn trawler.

I don't suffer from a mental illness, I live with it.

I have a healthy disrespect for religion. I really do. When Columbus came to this country in 1492 he brought syphilis, diphtheria, tuberculosis, influenza and Christianity. The diseases were curable.

It's hard to tell who's going to win this week, but it probably won't be a big, fat guy.

The course is so long, I had to take the curvature of the Earth into consideration.

Worst haircut I've ever seen in my life. And I've had a few bad ones. It looks like he (John Daly) has a divot over each ear.

If god wanted people to believe in him, why'd he invent logic then?

and when hecatches meoff guardand says'i love you'i catch himoff guardand say 'i need your help.

[Young people, ] dress as attractively as you can. You are an aristocrat, a child of God.

A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.

It's funny as I get older I'm reverting to my roots - I want to plant stuff.

Dagny, we can never lose the things we live for. We may have to change their form at times, if we've made an error, but the purpose remains the same and the forms are ours to make.

Buddhism is all about finding your own way, not imitating the ways of others or even the ways of Buddha himself.

I'll be a Quebecker-Canadian. I'm from Quebec, and every time I go to a country, I say that. It's my roots, my origins, and it's the most important thing to me.

The casting couch? There's only one of us who ever made it to stardom without it, and that was Bette Davis.

It take a certain type of man to teach, to be far from hood but to understand the streets.

I think the central theme about black society is that it has got elements of a defeated society