Wisdom isn't an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn't an answer. It's a question.

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag; even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!

So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.

I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.

Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.

People have the right to call themselves whatever they like. That doesn't bother me. It's other people doing the calling that bothers me.

Give me a strong back, over a soft heart.

However motherhood comes to you, it's a miracle.

Alaska is what happens when Willy Wonka and the witch from Hansel and Gretel elope, buy a place together upstate, renounce their sweet teeth, and turn into health fanatics.

I have always said that the best feeling in the world is scoring a goal. Don't tell my missus that, but it is. When that ball hits the back of the net, it is fantastic.

Writing is my number one passion. I've written two novels. I've written a screenplay. I also write short stories and poetry.

It merely shews, after all, that affection is a habit.

I think to be an amazing actress, you have to be present, you have to be in the moment and not thinking about other things.

I don't need the audience, but sometimes it's nice to have a gauge - not so I know how I feel, but so I get what is or isn't working for moviegoers.

We had our breakfasts--whatever happens in a house, robbery or murder, it doesn't matter, you must have your breakfast.