Wit, like the Belly, if it be not fed, Will starve the Members, and distract the Head.

It is better to have a lion at the head of an army of sheep, than a sheep at the head of an army of lions.

It is never too late to be wise.

Fear of danger is ten thousand times more terrifying than danger itself.

The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear.

All our discontents about what we want appeared to spring from the want of thankfulness for what we have.

Justice is always Violence to the Party offending, for every Man is Innocent in his own Eyes.

Expect nothing and you'll always be surprised

Necessity makes an honest man a knave.

The best of men cannot suspend their fate; The good die early, and the bad die late.

The height of human wisdom is to bring our tempers down to our circumstances, and to make a calm within, under the weight of the greatest storm without.

Trebuie sa te departezi putin de tine ca sa te poti apropia de ceilalti.

I don’t think I can.. I know I will.

When you make that crossover from life to real life, when you're not treated as a child anymore but as a man, and you are no longer given the benefit of the doubt, it takes some courage to face that.

I wasn't young, I wasn't pretty, it was necessary to find other weapons.

I'm still pretty self-centered, greedy and angry.

There are few people who would not be ashamed of being loved when they love no longer.

Abortion is the taking of a life.

A good voice isn't so important. It's more important to sound really unique.

It's amazing how fast gold works.

My stand-up is more like how I am in real life. I don't really do a character thing in stand-up. It's just a bunch of sentences that are supposed to be funny.