Wit loses its point when dipped in malice.

He is the very pineapple of politeness.

A circulating library in a town is as an evergreen tree of diabolical knowledge.

When of a gossiping circle it was asked, "What are they doing?" The answer was, "Swapping lies.

An aspersion upon my parts of speech!

Won't you come into the garden? I would like my roses to see you.

A bumper of good liquor Will end a contest quicker Than justice, judge or vicar.

An unforgiving eye, and a damned disinheriting countenance!

Fertilizer does no good in a heap, but a little spread around works miracles all over.

Never say more than is necessary.

The surest way not to fail is to determine to succeed.

You shouldn't have to convince anyone to choose you. There is no real choice in love.

It occurred to me that the voracious ambition of humans is never sated by dreams coming true, because the is always the thought that everything might be done better and again

Anxiety beclouds the future.

Some friends leave footprints in your heart

Will you make a song for him?' the woman asked. 'He has a song,' the man replied. 'He is the prince that was promised, and his is the song of ice and fire.

The great secret of doctors, known only to their wives, but still hidden from the public, is that most things get better by themselves; most things, in fact, are better in the morning.

I think certain movies are right for 3D. I think certain movies are not right for 3D. And I think the specialness of 3D will be worn off if every movie becomes 3D.

My sheets are monogrammed, so is my silverware and pretty much everything else I own. My rule is, if it's not moving -- monogram it!

I read because one life isn't enough and in the pages of a book, I can be anybody.

If you want to feel humor too exquisite and subtle for translation, sit invisibly among a gang of Negro workers.