With a black president, I can relax... I can dance in public... I can buy a whole watermelon now.

When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.

I noticed recently, in the last few shows I did, that I'm starting to get people - not a large group, but quite a few people - who come to see me because they love Curb Your Enthusiasm.

If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.

I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.

Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.

And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.

Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.

If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too.

I don't like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet.

I don’t understand why people really get upset about something that doesn’t affect them at all.

I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going before you've still got them.

Whose empire did you just overthrow?" My own.

One night I heard my dad say to my mom: I can't help but think of the good times we're having now as being painful memories later on. And my mom saying, c'mon now honey.

Do what thy manhood bids thee do.

Science is the century-old endeavor to bring together by means of systematic thought the perceptible phenomena of this world into as thorough-going an association as possible.

In my mind, my music is kind of inseparable from my hometown and my life growing up.

I'm very much into vengeance, in the way that if someone attacks you, you have to attack him twice if you want to survive.

The kids never listen to you, especially the youngest ones.

Carlos was probably somewhere warm, eating three meals a day, and sleeping in a real bed. That was the life

The single biggest difference between financial success and financial failure is how well you manage your money. It's simple: to master money, you must manage money.