With a roof over his head he had ceased to work, living off his [war] pension and his wits, both hopelessly inadequate.

You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, get it out with Optrex.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?

We haven't got a plan so nothing can go wrong!

If literature stays away from evil, it rapidly becomes boring.

No construct on earth will stand, that does not stand for the least among them, as their advocate and humble servant.

If all our happiness is bound up entirely in our personal circumstances it is difficult not to demand of life more than it has to give.

He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.

Our days and nights have sorrows woven with delights.

If you decide to design your own language, there are thousands of sort of amateur language designer pitfalls.

Government is an institution which prevents injustice other than such as it commits itself.

You can begin to shape your own destiny by the attitude that you keep.

Heaven's my destination.