With all the trouble black people have, they try to forget on weekends. You've got to be good to make them laugh.

You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.

Being a comedian is like being a con man. You have to make 'em like you before you can fool 'em.

Violence is a tool of the ignorant.

Funny is an attitude.

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.

My main point is to be funny; if I can slip a message in there, fine.

When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not.

Don't order one for the road, because the road is already laid out.

My show is my statement. What I have to say is on the screen. My life is my own. I don't want to talk about my private self. Why should I?

Today is yesterday, today is tomorrow. For it's only one day that comes and goes, over and over again.

Where personal experience is concerned, we all speak a different language.

So when I saw you lying in the shed there, I thought that even God couldn't be that cruel. You were everything I ever asked for – so maybe you could also be the love of my life...

Of course I love cooking Eastern European food because I'm a Jew, but I also love making roast chicken. I love making Hungarian goulash. There are a lot of egg noodles in my cooking.

If you have ever lost a loved one, then you know exactly how it feels. And if you have not, then you cannot possibly imagine it.

There is a lovely root to the word humiliation - from the latin word humus, meaning soil or ground. When we are humiliated, we are in effect returning to the ground of our being.

Today House Republicans are doing what they always do - using taxpayers' money to continue investigating claims that have already been debunked just to keep them in the headlines one more day.

Making a movie about one group of people isolates the larger majority. That's what I require of the projects that I'm involved with. I would not ever make a movie strictly for Latinos.

If the universe had a beginning, its beginning, by the very condition of the cases, was supernatural; the laws of Nature cannot account for their own origin.

Courage, like fear, is a habit. The more you do it, the more you do it, and this habit-of stepping up, of taking action-more than anything else, will move you in a different direction.