With any actor, if you know your character well enough, you'll know pretty much what he would say under any circumstance, or whatever situation might rear its head.

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

Life Sucks,get a helmet

You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them?

Crisis doesn't create character; it reveals it.

Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

What firefighters, and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do, basically these people say "I'm going to protect all these strangers."

I assumed that everything would lead to complete failure, but I decided that didn't matter – that would be my life.

If something is boring after two minutes try it for four. If still boring try for eight sixteen thirty-two and so on. Eventually one discovers that it is not boring but very interesting.

I've really come to realize you have to love yourself before you can expect someone else to.

But democracy isn't a state of perfection. It has to be improved, and that means constant vigilance.

There is no secrecy comparable to celerity.

Got ants in my pants and I need to dance, so big fine mama, come give me a chance.

The world will be for the common people, and the sounds of Happiness will reach even the deepest springs.

Who will be the happiest person? The one who brings happiness to others.

Digital ink technology holds substantial promise in terms of legibility, portability, and power consumption, but I am less confident about the communication aspect.

Short summers lightly have a forward spring.