With stand-up, there's a little bit of an exaggerated reality because things have to be manipulated to create comedy, to create jokes.

We're not in an information age anymore. We're in the information management age.

Nerds get caught up in minutiae, because there is a tremendous and fulfilling sense of control in understanding every single detail of a thing more than any other living creature.

Bowling is all physics and energy distribution. It's F = ma. So it is actually one of the most science-y sports, because it literally is just a ball and a surface and objects to knock down.

When you hang around a lot of comedians long enough, you realize there's a certain gene, in every comedian. It's why we get hyper-analytical about things.

I do seem like the kind of guy who'd be obsessive about Rubik's Cubes.

No matter what tricks you use or what decisions you make, go easy on yourself as someone who's on a never-ending quest for improvement.

Steal moments of happiness if you have to, and then collect them until they are the dominant images in your psyche.

I almost think of nerd brains as rattlesnake venom; like, you can milk it. You can milk the pulpy venom out of the nerd brain and use it for good if you want to.

Humans cannot produce viable offspring with our closest animal cousin: the chimpanzee. We cannot impregnate a chimp. So you know what that means? No condoms.

I've gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult.

Letting go is not getting rid of. Letting go is letting be.

What hurts the most is being misunderstood. They tell me that's an Aquarian trait - that that's the thing we don't like.

Leadership isn't just legislation, that it's a matter of persuading people and giving them confidence, and bringing them together and setting a tone.

If you're going to spend two or three years immersed in a subject, you better be deeply interested in it, or it won't be interesting to the reader.

I'm hoping my children will save me from my vanity. If it doesn't, plastic surgery is an option... It sucks to have to grow older. We all have to accept it.

You're not better than anybody else, but you're not less than anybody else. You're a child of the Most High God.

When I make my own music, there is no external producer. I just do everything as quickly as possible. I try not to overthink things.

What you do not eliminate - you accumulate.

Almost a century has passed since Japan first entered the world community by concluding a treaty of amity with the United States of America in 1854.

I like to keep myself wrapped in layers of sleep and wait for the geraniums.