With the situation in Iraq growing ever more dangerous, the 34-member Coalition of The Willing are, one by one, dropping out to join the other coalition known as Most of The Rest of The World.

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

did time exist before we could count it

Book publishing would be so much easier without the authors.

You might be a redneck if the Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice.

He never said a foolish thing nor never did a wise one.

There's so much to explore! And personally, I don't know. It's such a crapshoot.

Although he may not always recognize his bondage, modern man lives under a tyranny of numbers.

I don't have a computer. A computer's a typewriter. I already have a typewriter.

So how do you do it, with just words and just music, capture the feeling that my Earth is somebody's ceiling?

Never can the innate power of a work be hidden or locked away. A work of art can be forgotten by time; it can be forbidden and rejected but the elemental will always prevail over the ephemeral.

Only in silence the word, only in dark the light, only in dying life: bright the hawk's flight on the empty sky.