With toilet books, people don't review them that much. They don't really pay much attention to them. It's just like, "Oh, okay. I'll put this in your stocking."

Death is the only thing keeping us in line.

Thank God there's somebody that doesn't like Stuart Scott. I'm so happy!. It was nice to have that counter-balance to ESPN.

I took time in the day to write as much of the book as I possibly could. I didn't write too much at night, because I don't like to - I'd rather watch TV.

I had to be happy with the process of writing.Each step you take is more rewarding than the one before.

You cannot hide from the world. It will find you. It always does. And now it has found me. My split second of immortality is over. All that's left now is the end, which is all any of us ever has.

For every hour a mother gets to herself, a father will demand five times that amount for drinking with friends and acting like an immature dipshit.

If you have a great characters, you can always have your character do nothing or do something stupid, and people will still follow them, because they're so real and so tangible.

I've hated cockroaches my entire life.Tweeting jokes about it helps me cope, in a way. I'm not as jumpy killing cave crickets as I used to be. I still jump plenty though.

I wanted to write a book that maybe had the potential to go beyond the Deadspin and KSK [Kissing Suzy Kolber] readership.

I know I still had to take money from my parents, because no one can afford to live in Manhattan, not even the rich people.

I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.

It is very easy to fall in the ocean of love and feel great, but it's difficult to get out of the river of love and forget.

To possess possessions, a man will "sell himself" to have what another has, but it never dawns on him ~ that the more he gets, the less he keeps of himself.

And yet it's there, we witnessed it being lit. And fires once lit have to burn until they spend themselves or someone extinguishes them, ” Anaxantis said, with some deep regret coating his voice.

Everybody gets the same hours in a day

Technique conquers all.

The curse of Scottish literature is the lack of a whole language, which finally means the lack of a whole mind.

We need to hear the sound of our voice for what we think and need.

In the end I would rather wonder than know

The one thing you don't want is that stale sound when you've done a line so much you can't find a fresh approach to it. Drop it.