With wives, men hide behind the air of bravado, which is basically a defence mechanism, I think. Clever creatures, women. Very clever.

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite.

I took the wife's family out for tea biscuits. They weren't too happy about having to give blood though.

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed; I never knew they worked.

I went to the doctor last week. I said: 'Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?' He said: 'Why?' I said: 'She's woke up.

I toyed with the idea of playing Ravel's 'Pavane pour une infante defunte' but I couldn't remember if it's a tune or Latin prescription for piles.

My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to let her in.

My lad chewed and swallowed a dictionary. We gave him Epsom salts - but we can't get a word out of him.

A square egg in a dish of lentils won't make a marrow bend with the wind, nor will it make rhubarb grow up the milkmaid's leg.

I don't mind what the critics say, so long as I get some reaction. The worst thing is to be ignored.

His was a great sin who first invented consciousness. Let us lose it for a few hours.

Humbleness, modest and down to earth that recognize the real power and true sense of values towards the achievement of good life and enduring everlasting qualities.

Honey will wipe the floor with you." His eyes went half-mast, and his voice dropped in evident pleasure. "I know.

There were three terrible ages of childhood - zero to 10, 10 to 20, and 20 to 30.

Your best penalty killer is your goalie.

The north-south line of 'the mountains,' meaning the Cascade Range, forty miles east of Seattle, is a rigid political frontier.

Much like a patchwork quilt, inspiration that stirs and motivates me is made of many things.

I expect that everything I do will be not watched or not seen. That way, I'm never disappointed when I become flooded with that reality.

Most wars are not fought over shortages of resources such as food and water, but rather over conquest, revenge, and ideology.

I kind of fell into acting, but I have sung and trained since I was in the eighth grade.