Without fake tan I have the skin tones of a dead jellyfish.

I am very short-sighted, and if I don't like a situation I take my glasses off.

I wouldn't say I was grumpy. It's more pathological - I have seismic tantrums. I get red in the face and cry at least three times a week, and I have to lie down and have a nap afterwards.

People often ask why comedy is harder for women, and the reason is because a tampon will sometimes fall out when you're on stage. Blokes don't have that worry.

Anyone who has dead straight hair wants curls.

I can eat a man, but I'm not sure of the fiber content.

Well, I'm not good with sliminess. I hate the thought of creatures that have slime on them or creatures that leave a slimy trail. At home, the sight of a slug can bring up my breakfast.

I'm a schizophrenic mix of wannabe glamourpuss and absolute slob, and my style is very much magistrate-meets-barmaid.

Well, I really don't like heights. I don't get on the top deck of a double-decker because that's a bit high for me. I always feel that I'm going to hurl myself off, so heights are a problem.

I love fashion, but I don't come from a background of loving clothes, and I remember feeling badly dressed from a young age.

I am not sure gender ever won't be an issue in comedy, because I think that women do have different priorities in some respects.

You must learn to see everything around yourself as a resources, your opportunities, and turn them into your weapons to get them working in your favor, in order to achieve your goal

This world is unreal and ever-changing. Only an optimist with optimum love can adjust and grow with joy.

Let go of all your worries, embrace hope.

Business is never so healthy as when, like a chicken, it must do a certain amount of scratching around for what it gets.

In every encounter we either give life or we drain it; there is no neutral exchange.

Her name was Maude and she drank whisky all day from a fruit jar under the counter.

All things just keep getting better.

I think once you start eating people you should stop claiming to be a vegetarian, even if you only eat bad people.

I headed towards the mountain, which was an almost irresistible beacon to my storm self. It glowed with heat, pressure, and turbulence—everything a little dust devil like me could want.

Besides singing "Jump Around" to all the WWE superstars in the locker room? Uh... I enjoy listening to music, pumping up, and getting really muscular and oily. I like to oil myself before.