Without identical twins, you'll never get to experience entering a hotel room with one of them and watching him run into the full-length mirror because he though he saw his brother.

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.

That's when you know you're a true married couple: when you have to apologize for what you did in her dream.

The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology.

Identical twins. I'm glad they're identical 'cause you save money on photographs. That's what I like. Yeah. Here's my little boy. I got another one just like it.

I married a saint - well, a saint who curses.

People think living in your parents' basement until you're twenty-nine is lame. But what they don't realize is that while you're there, you save money on rent, food, and dates.

If my father had hugged me even once, I'd be an accountant right now.

For the sake of your marriage, get a king-size bed. And if you really want to stay married, get two.

I'd rather be in Las Vegas 104 degrees than New York 90 degrees, you know why? Legalized prostitution. In any weather that takes the edge off.

Listening with the focus of actually understanding what the other person is trying to communicate is priceless, a talent that everyone possesses but not something that is practiced enough.

If you are covetous, you are a prisoner: If you are greedy, you will never be filled.

My attitude is, do as much as I can while I'm free. And if I'm arrested I'll still do as much as I can.

Philippians 1:21 is very special to me because it helps to keep my life centered.

The problem of expressing the contributions that Benny Carter has made to popular music is so tremendous it completely fazes me, so extraordinary a musician is he.

The starship Enterprise was a metaphor starship Earth, and the vision was that the strength of this starship lay in its diversity.

I always want to be growing in my craft. Any artist should - whether you paint, whether you do music or film - always grow and study.

I'm gonna vote against Donald Trump .

There is a life-force within your soul, seek that life.

Life catches you by surprise. It always does. But there's good mixed in with the bad. It's there. You just have to recognize it.