Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

To judge someone is to say that I have the right to define who they are, verses understanding that God has handed me the priceless privilege of discovering who they are.

Sometimes, You need to step outside, get some air, and remind yourself of who you are and who you want to be.

You can’t save everyone. It’s not an option.

One person's garbage is another person's commodity.

I love to swim. When I jump in the water, I feel like I'm 12 years old again. It's really funny how it does that to me.

A mother who is obsessing about being thin and dieting and exercising is not going to be a very good mother.

All the water in the world cannot drown you unless it gets inside of you.

The most genius ideas are in the minds of children and lunatics. I describe myself as somewhere in between.

Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.