Women are frightening. If you get to 41 as a man, you're quite battle-scarred.

Basically, my life is so boring, it's embarrassing.

You know everyone loves to be the villain.

My grandmother was utterly convinced I'd wind up as the Archbishop of Canterbury. And, to be honest, I've never entirely ruled it out.

I just don't believe in love at first sight any more, even though I've based my whole career on the concept.

I'm a laugh tart. I make no secret of that fact.

Now [after doing Pilates], I have muscles of steel and could easily deal with giving birth.

I cling to the fantasy that I could have done something more creative. Like actually writing a script, or writing a book. But the awful truth is that I... probably can't!

The only reason my work seems to be eclectic up to a certain period is because I was a failure as an actor.

There is space in the supermarket shelf for all of us.

But when you're a celebrity, you discover that you're no longer the pursuer, but the one being pursued. That's one of the disappointments I have had since becoming a single man.

Anxiety is who people want you to be. Calm is who you are.

There's a rhythm to the legislative session and there are rhythms to legislative sessions. So I think that's very important to take into consideration when you are deciding what to do when.

I can't eat. I can never eat when I'm in the depths of despair.

When you want to work for God start a committee. When you want to work with God start a prayer group

Flesh-meats will depreciate the blood. Cook meat with spices, and eat it with rich cakes and pies, and you have a bad quality of blood.

He had a winning smile, but everything else was a loser.

One person's roar is another's whine, just as one person's music is another's unendurable noise.

Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs.

It's hard to tell whether the ship or airplane - they're all the same, I'm convinced - is male or female; it may shift back and forth.

As the world gets dumber and dumber, I feel more and more at home.