Women are good listeners, but it's a waste of time telling your troubles to a man unless there's something specific you want him to do.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

It's the most unhappy people who most fear change.

A hypochondriac is one who has a pill for everything except what ails him.

It's innocence when it charms us, ignorance when it doesn't.

The head never rules the heart, but just becomes its partner in crime.

We lavish on animals the love we are afraid to show to people. They might not return it; or worse, they might.

In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.

We choose those we like; with those we love, we have no say in the matter.

They threaten me with lung cancer, and still I smoke and smoke. If they'd only threaten me with hard work, I might stop.

Pity all newlyweds. She cooks something nice for him, and he brings her flowers, and they kiss and think: How easy marriage is.

Isn’t materialism the cause of much that is evil in the land of mortal souls?

Great writers experience their dreams. They put them on paper, where others can read about them.

Shut up, Ray.

You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don't let yourself indulge in vain wishes.

We've Tweeted him, we've stalked him [on] Facebook. We thought because he was so into volleyball he would have got back to us. But no luck so far.

[During] the passage of the Lilly Ledbetter [Fair Pay Act], equal pay for equal work, the women led that fight.

My wife is one of the best wimin on this Continent, altho' she isn't always gentle as a lamb with mint sauce.

Over the years I must have spent thousands of hours silently brushing on the liquid coatings, preparing each sheet in anticipation of reaching the perfect print.

Obama has been the most lawless president we've ever had.

Covering discretion with a coat of folly.