Women aren't embarrassed when they buy men's pajamas, but a man buying a nightgown acts as though he were dealing with a dope peddler.

Fishing, with me, has always been an excuse to drink in the daytime

Christmas is a holiday that persecutes the lonely, the frayed, and the rejected.

A rabid sports fan is one that boos a TV set

I judge how much a man cares for a woman by the space he allots her under a jointly shared umbrella.

A sports expert is the guy who writes the best alibis for being wrong

I can't remember ever staying for the end of a movie in which the actors wore togas.

A puck is a hard rubber disk that hockey players strike when they can't hit one another.

Rooting for the Yankees is like owning a yacht.

England produces the best fat actors.

Hockey would be a great game... if played in the mud.

If someone tells you that you can't do it then it actually means that they can't do it.

A "question" is a microscope of words.

Love is a selfless service to mankind like a showcase done by the twinkling stars in beautiful nightly sky.

Discipline is when we postpone the pleasure of today for the benefit of tomorrow.

Everything went downhill after Lillian [Gish] left me.

I have been studying women’s political behavior since the early 1970s and first identified the gender gap in 1980 with the help of legendary pollster Louis Harris.

There are very few really stark black and white stories.

The real secret to total gorgeousness is to believe in yourself.

Just thinking that my dog loves me more than I love him, I feel shame.

Distressed valor challenges great respect, even from an enemy.