Women feel safe with me. Because a woman with me knows that she can stop the situation from advancing to a point that she's comfortable at any time.

That is the most confusing and insane thing to me, when people get offended on behalf of another group.

I hate that when people are like, "Well, all dwarves know each other, right?" And you want to get mad, but you can't because we do.

I want to go to Australia so bad, do comedy there, and see the people there. It's a great country. I have friends that are Australian that have told me all about it. I want to do comedy there.

It takes a surprisingly large amount of intelligence to be a professional idiot.

The vast majority of people that have gotten mad at me for a joke that I've made were people that were, A, never going to see me in the first place, or, B, were dragged to see me by somebody else.

Comedian makes the statement that just isn't true.

I don't get to the global issues or anything like that. I am just trying to be silly.

People ask me a lot like, "Hey, so when are you done with your tour?" Like when I die. That's when I'm done with my tour.

Everyone's extremely and easily offended now.

It's very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.

Concentration is like a leash for our mind, keeping it under control and obedient and not giving it too much room to move as it wishes.

The greatest among you are those with the greatest love.The richest among you are those with the most joy.

Christian life consists in faith and charity.

I almost never do anything for Black History Month, because I feel it's just another way to separate us.

I play so young because of my looks.

I'm in a privileged position and I'm going to do my utmost to use that privileged position on behalf of the U.K., its citizens, its businesses and people.

Everybody thought New York was this hard, cruel place, and I found it to be an extraordinarily wonderful place filled with the most interesting people.

This I can report from the front lines: life never calms down long enough for us to wait until tomorrow to start living the lives we deserve.

To be free from all egoistic motive, careful of truth in speech and action, void of self-will and self-assertion, watchful in all things, is the condition for being a flawless servant.

My plan has always been to return to Broadway every 50 years.