Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

If I didn't have Lincoln's butt to stare at the whole time, motivation would be a lot harder to come by.

The medicine it's three times everyday taking cold water shower.

The admiration of another writer’s work is almost in inverse proportion to similarities in style.

The coast of British Columbia was one of the three chief centers of aboriginal America.

I'm obsessed with my 20s. I buy things that I wanted in my 20s. It's weird; it's a weird thing that I didn't grow out of.

Everything always passes, and everything is already okay. Stay in the place where you can see that, and nothing will resist you.

I put the Scriptures above all the sayings of the fathers, angels, men and devils. Here I take my stand.

When you hold a graphic novel in your hands, you're holding artist blood made ink.

The good thing about the Anvil school of filmmaking was that it was fly by the seat of your pants. There was no safety net.

You realize just how long youve been away when you get home and start dialing 8 out of habit so you can get access to local calls.