Women mostly remember the men who made them laugh, and men - only the women who made them cry.

It is well to write love letters. There are certain things for which it is not easy to ask your mistress face to face, like money for instance.

Look around and you will see what others are not seeing

The suffering was shaping her perception about life, her values, priorities, goals and dreams.

To be defeated is only a fable in which one may tell of oneself. I will try and I will try again, though never shall I call it failure. I am simply one step closer to thy truth.

I must uphold my ideals, for perhaps the time will come when I shall be able to carry them out.

Roll big blunts, a whole ounce of reefer Rocked that 'Black and Yellow' before Wiz Khalifa It's a killer bee color scheme

If you tell someone you're doing something innovative, they'll think you're doing something innovative.

My parents encouraged thought. You'll get through life better if you learn how to think.

I never cared about money.

I like bowling. It's just one of those things where I can do so many jokes about it because I do know bowling. Somebody once said, "The whitest things in the world are Jim Gaffigan and bowling."

In nearly every case, trying to lead everyone results in leading no one in particular.