Women need to know that not all guys are going to hurt them the way that the guy did before they started dating me. I know guys I wouldn't go out with.

When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.

Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is.

I'm very loyal in a relationship. Any relationship. When I go out with my mom, I don't look at other moms and go, "I wonder what her macaroni and cheese tastes like."

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.

They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.

Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate.

I'm dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over.

I'm very loyal in relationships. Even when I go out with my mom I don't look at other moms.

my friends don't seem to be friends at all but people whose phone numbers I haven't lost.

The utility of adversity is to draw inspiration, wisdom and strength from it.

There are three modes of bearing the ills of life: by indifference by philosophy and by religion.

Fools die happy. The happy die young. The young die foolish.

Memories, all those little experiences make up the fabric of our lives and on balance, I wouldn't want to erase any of them, tempting though it may be.

Sometimes I just want to lick David Lee Roth in the nuts

I was lucky to have parents who loved me.

You are my sunshine my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know dear how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away.

The god that you dispense with today, will come back as a demon tomorrow.

What writers do - everything comes from inside, from experiences of the world that we have digested. And then we turn it into silk, or stories.