Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Love yourself to fill your heart with kindness.Then love others to fill the world with happiness.

It’s been a dream to work with Netflix because they don’t have any pressure from advertisers.

I wish I could take back every interview. Over and over again, I read them later, and either I'm misquoted or I said something stupid. I'm just not very good at it.

When you have become one with the Great Universal, you will have no partiality, and when you are part of the process of transformation, you will have no rigidity.

There are no bad boys. There is only bad environment, bad training, bad example, bad thinking.

I always thought that I might retire from any form of sexuality by the age of 40 and just become a dignified older person.

There are two types of actors: those who say they don't want to be famous and those who are liars.

Love makes mutes of those who habitually speak most fluently.

Mirror neurons make human empathy possible.

I suppose this work is part of the devil that is in us all.