Women were always complications, bless their perverse little hearts.

If you're looking for Mr. Perfect, you‟re going to spend your whole life being disappointed, because he doesn‟t exist. You have to get the best deal you can, but there will always be problems.

I have a real low tolerance for parasites, and you're so close to the limit that I'm already reaching for the flea powder.

A village somewhere was missing it's idiot.

Sign by elevator put up by computer geeks in office building: REMEMBER: FIRST YOU PILAGE, THEN YOU BURN. THOSE WHO DO NOT COMPLY WILL BE SUSPENDED FROM THE RAIDING TEAM. In Mr Perfect

Pleasure was a siren, luring her to experience more

I'm not holding you against your will; I'm holding you against your car.

If death turned out to be a lack of being rather than a lack of consciousness, well, then, that sucked.

Don’t kiss me,” she said warningly. “I don’t intend to,” he replied, smiling a little. “I don’t have my whip and chair with me.

He needed a woman. Bad.

The world was divided into two groups: those who showered at night, and those who showered in the morning.

What does spirituality, money and happiness have in common? Everything.

Before 'Gangnam Style' I was not a good attitude artist.

I love the physical roles. I have the utmost respect for stunt people and stunt doubles, but I like to do as much as I possibly can with what's become some pretty significant training.

It’s true: Medium has the best web-based editor I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen them all.

Another thing I find extremely eerie is that when people build a house, they almost exactly get it wrong. They don't just get it partly wrong, they get it dead wrong.

It happens sometimes that when someone has a camera, they change; sometimes they change for the better.

Artists know failure. It is not tragic that they know failure; it is only tragic if they know failure and little else.

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man in the moon.

The ultimate good desired is better reached by free trade in ideas [and] the best test of truth is the power of the thought to get itself accepted in the competition of the market.

As we seek Christ, as we find Him, as we follow Him, we shall have the Christmas spirit, not for one fleeting day each year, but as a companion always.