Women would rather be right than reasonable.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

Our mind, keep all the record of our emotions, wrapped in hope and preserve it.

Companies preach creativity, hire for conformity and call consultants when they fail who tell them to be more creative.

How you do money is how you do life.

The shortest period of time lies between the minute you put some money away for a rainy day and the unexpected arrival of rain.

It was the dawn of the third age of mankind.

Lamps make oil-spots and candles need snuffing; it is only the light of heaven that shines pure and leaves no stain.

In the highest class of God's school of suffering we learn not resignation nor patience, but rejoicing in tribulation.

That has always been it for me: family first.

Once I realized that the only thing I can actually control in this life is my own mind, how I choose to react, feel, and perceive, I felt immediately liberated.

I think the first time I ever wore a tuxedo was when I played at the Talk Of The Town in 1967, because it was a nightclub and that was the thing to do.