Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.

When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go.

Before you go to bed, write down three 'gratefuls' for the day and three 'did wells' (they can even include something as simple as doing the laundry)-the results can be amazing!

It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.

You have to have faith that there is a reason you go through certain things. I can't say I'm glad to go through pain, but in a way one must, in order to gain courage and really feel joy.

If someone tells you that you cannot do something and you believe it, they are right.

It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others.

It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers.

No one ever said life was fair. Just Eventful.

Comedy is tragedy plus time.

I won't stop writing until I am known as the Kurt Cobain of literature!

be it peace or happiness let it enfold you

I want to be good at what I do, obviously, and to do that I need to keep my head straight.

Nobody has a monopoly on good ideas

A legend is an old man with a cane known for what he used to do. I'm still doing it.

There's no such thing as a writer's block. If you're having trouble writing, well, pick up the pen and write. No matter what, keep that hand moving. Writing is really a physical activity.

This is Rickey calling on behalf of Rickey. Rickey wants to play baseball.

Fasting gives you confidence to know that your spirit can master appetite . . . and helps to protect against later uncontrolled cravings and gnawing habits.

I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Opportunity rarely knocks on your door. Knock rather on opportunity's door if you ardently wish to enter.