Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

You’ll also wonder how you can feel so brave and so afraid at the same time.

If you project yourself to be extra-ordinary then you will find ordinaries joining hands to ensure that you remain an extra..

There seemed to be endless obstacles-it seemed that the root cause of them all was fear.

Delight is incomplete until it is expressed.

Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'

I am an unpopular electric eel set in a pond of goldfish.

People want you to be a crazy, out-of-control teen brat. They want you miserable, just like them. They don't want heroes; what they want is to see you fall.

Once I started singing, I realized it was a language I'd forgotten I could speak.

If you know wilderness in the way that you know love, you would be unwilling to let it go.... This is the story of our past and it will be the story of our future.

Caesar's armies marched on vegetarian foods.