Work is the least important thing and family is the most important.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

I know the power of speech. I don't talk much.

She missed -- without knowing what she missed-- paints and crayons

Sometimes even the most successful people feel empty and incomplete

Freedom, inefficiency, and prosperity are not in it frequently found together, and it is seldom easy to distinguish between the first two.

I really love pets. They're like children. They know if you really love them or not. You can't fool them.

Everything you do to improve your physical well-being will have a positive impact on how good you feel about yourself.

Whatever power I have is nothing if I can't use it to keep safe those who mean the most to me.

The greatest minds are capable of the greatest vices as well as of the greatest virtues.

Although we have been made to believe that if we let go we will end up with nothing, life reveals just the opposite: that letting go is the real path to freedom.

Nothing tastes as good as looking good feels.