Worried about a skin condition? Leap smartly into a bath of porridge.

There's not enough silliness in the world. Eurovision helps to keep it balanced.

Don't start drinking before the fifth song.

Television contracts the imagination and radio expands it.

Who knows what hellish future lies ahead? ... Actually, I do. I've seen the rehearsals.

I don't make the mistake of thinking it's a major musical event. I love the Eurovision Song Contest and it will continue long after I'm gone. Just please don't ask me to take it seriously.

The culture now in television is that the presenter calls the financial and, increasingly, the creative shots. It is comparable to what happened in Hollywood 15 or so years ago.

But they're laughing at you. They're not laughing with you.

I suppose I should make a little apology to Cyndi - although I'm not taking the blame for this - because I was the one who did say Cyndi had won.

A talk show is about having a look at a famous face, a bit of stand-up comedy, knockabout stuff - an interview is what Barbara Walters or Connie Chung does in the States, in-depth, done properly.

There's nothing to be said for being famous. It's a pain. You can't be rude to people - it's inexcusable not to be nice. Anyway, it's not in my nature. I was trained to be nice.

There have been two great narcotics in European civilisation: Christianity and alcohol.

In every sufferings you've encountered, there will be an opportunity to settle things in a right place. If that comes, grab it. Learn to forgive.

America is a country in which I see the most persistant idealism and the blandest of cynicism and the race is on between its vitality and its decadence.

He rarely saw a doorway without advancing through it as if he owned it. Since he owned a good many doorways, he would have pointed out that this was a reasonable assumption.

Every intimacy carries secreted somewhere below its initial lovely surfaces, the ever-coiled makings of complete catastrophe.

Irrespective of whether we are believers or agnostics, whether we believe in God or karma, moral ethics is a code which everyone is able to pursue.

You roll back the stones, and you find slithering things. That is the world of Richard Nixon.

Never give up what you want most for what you want today.

Having a holiday weekend without a family member felt like putting on a sweater that had an extra arm.

You shouldn't be looking at the bottom of the mountain. Why don't you try looking at the top some time?