Worst haircut I've ever seen in my life. And I've had a few bad ones. It looks like he (John Daly) has a divot over each ear.

Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.

I didn't quit drinking because I was a bad drunk. I quit because I was a spectacular drunk. It got to be like a video game, where you get to the highest level and it's not even a challenge any more.

The world's No. 1 tennis player spends 90 percent of his time winning, while the world's No. 1 golfer spends 90 percent of his time losing. Golfers are great losers.

I was swinging like a toilet door on a prawn trawler.

I don't suffer from a mental illness, I live with it.

I have a healthy disrespect for religion. I really do. When Columbus came to this country in 1492 he brought syphilis, diphtheria, tuberculosis, influenza and Christianity. The diseases were curable.

It's hard to tell who's going to win this week, but it probably won't be a big, fat guy.

The course is so long, I had to take the curvature of the Earth into consideration.

If god wanted people to believe in him, why'd he invent logic then?

Never has my flabber been so completely gasted.

Sin may have the power to kill and destroy, but God is the Creator of life. He can create it from nothing, and He can restore it from death.(John 11:25-26)

Someone burns your beloved scripture in front of you, yet you are not bothered even the slightest bit. That's when you know, you have achieved divinity.

Don’t judge a tree by its size, but by its fruit.

In business, you're the Chief Salesman. Create a sense of demand, rather than waiting to have demand.

I was born in an elevator, and - as my mother said - naturally it was going down. She said, "All I remember is telling your father, 'That's it! Never again!'" That's why I'm an only child.

Casinos don't bring business except for the gambling boys

The human animal is adapted to, and apparently can thrive on, an extraordinary range of different diets, but the Western diet, however you define it, does not seem to be one of them.

I find intelligence sexy. I find a sense of humor sexy. I find sensitivity sexy.

For me, fashion is a job. I love it. It's my passion. But the most important thing for me in general is life.

One resists the invasion of armies; one does not resist the invasion of ideas.