Write one good clean sentence and put a period at the end of it. Then write another one.

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

I love the power women have. I think women rule the world because they rule men. Manipulating men - that's our job. That's what we're on the planet for.

Sometimes you can only find Heaven by slowly backing away from Hell.

If my life wasn't funny it would just be true, and that is unacceptable.

No motive is pure. No one is good or bad-but a hearty mix of both. And sometimes life actually gives to you by taking away.

My heart's in the right place. I know, 'cuz I hid it there.

Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It's a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life.

I am mentally ill. I can say that. I am not ashamed of that. I survived that, I'm still surviving it, but bring it on. Better me than you.

There is no point at which you can say, "Well, I'm successful now. I might as well take a nap."

How brave a ladybug must be! Each drop of rain is big as she. Can you imagine what you'd do, If raindrops fell as big as you?

Whoever has money would have realized that it doesn’t bring happiness

Write about the thing that scares you most or your most private confession and you'll never have a problem coming up with decent fiction.

Some people want to advertise their weirdness, and spread it out, that's not me.

I used to be afraid of failing at something that really mattered to me, but now I'm more afraid of succeeding at things that don't matter.

If we dealt only with the false and dishonest, we should at last forget how to speak truth.

Thankfully, God's plans do not seem to be affected much by my own.

People's expectations of what I'm capable of doing are very low. People have been used to hearing little one-liners and me play around.

I've learned a couple of things. And one of the things I have learned is that every experience has pluses and minuses.

I’ve come to ask you where Seth is.” "Funny,” said Andrea. “We were going to ask you the same thing.” I was taken aback. “How would I know?” They both just stared. "I don’t!

Why are congressmen called public servants? You never see servants that anxious to keep their jobs.