Writing a new film about cereal killers. Not serial killers, cereal killers. The main character can eat two, three boxes at a time.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

Socrates: This man, on one hand, believes that he knows something, while not knowing [anything]. On the other hand, I – equally ignorant – do not believe [that I know anything].

Life is not what happens to us

In between waking up from bed in the morning and going back in the evening, let something happen. God will bless that “something” for you.

I don't care what it looks, I don't care what it feels like, I believe God.

I think that a lot of companies are still amazingly price sensitive.

You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to any of your heroes. Become what you wish to be.

We weren't raised to take, we were raised to give the shirt off our back to anyone in need.

When people try to read between the lines - critics, they have a job. Their job is to make something bigger than it is.

A mind of the caliber of mine cannot derive its nutrient from cows.

I'm really so singular, I am only able to work on one thing at a time. I really am.