Writing a novel is like going a great distance to take a small shit.

You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.

The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.

Thank your readers and the critics who praise you, and then ignore them. Write for the most intelligent, wittiest, wisest audience in the universe: Write to please yourself.

I don't mind you thinking I'm stupid, but don't talk to me like I'm stupid.

K is for "Kenghis Khan"; He was a very nice person. History has no record of him. There is a moral in that, somewhere.

In these days of widespread illiteracy, functional illiteracy... anything that keeps people stupid is a felony.

The world is turning into a cesspool of imbeciles.

You must never be afraid to go there.

They minute people fall in love they become liars.

Posing the question: does the god of love use underarm deodorant, vaginal spray and fluoride toothpaste?

Why do you do it, Amber? Why do you go after people like you do? It’s not who you are.”“That’s the point, ” Amber said. “I’m not allowed to be who I really am.

When I find an employee who turns out to be wrong for the job, I feel it is my fault because I made the decision to hire him.

People cannot become truly knowledgeable without being excellent readers.

Education is what allows you to stand out

A jug fills drop by drop.

We are in favor of tolerance, but it is a very difficult thing to tolerate the intolerant and impossible to tolerate the intolerable.

Small towns are like metronomes; with the slightest flick, the beat changes.

Not doing things you can do is the whole point of laziness. Not doing something you can't do is just sensible.

What is an artist but a workman who is determined that, whatever else happens, his work shall be excellent?

While 9-5 and what happens on the job is important, what happens from 5-9, off the job, is infinitely more important.