Writing is really wonderful art. A lot of this is discovery. A lot of things are lying around waiting to be discovered and that's our job as writers is to just notice them and bring them to life.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

If you think something is missing in your life, it is probably YOU...

If you have firm trust in God, the success that comes to you will always be that which is most useful for you whether it appears good or bad in your private judgment.

QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of another - usually about as many times as it can be got there.

I don't really know why I'm such an emotional person, that's just how I was born. It's a problem. It's not easy to be married to me.

I enjoy my pettiness with a dose of wit.

The idea that affable Boris[Johnson] is actually divisive, selfish and unreliable is Mr 's biggest weakness.

Lord, I never seen blue hair on a black woman before or since. Leroy say you look like a cracker from outer space.

A person of wisdom is not one who practices Buddhism apart from worldly affairs but, rather, one who thoroughly understands the principles by which the world is governed.

Nothing meaningful or lasting comes without working hard at it.

We elect our Presidents, be they Republican or Democrat, then start daring 'em to make good.