Yea, he's alright...but he's no Zach Braff.

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

We are all born free and spend a lifetime becoming slaves to our own false truths.

She’d decided that about eighty percent of what you believe about yourself when you’re twenty turns out to be wrong. The problem is you don’t know what your small true part is until much later.

Though I've belted you and flayed you By the livin' Gawd that made you You're a better man than I am Gunga Din.

Though politics is by nature divisive, surely we all can agree that foster children need stability, safety, education, opportunity - and love.

Some books are not read in the right way because they have skipped a stage of opinion, assume a crystallization of information in society which has not yet taken place.

Your grandpa was a boxer in his youth. Sexiest thing I'd ever seen, let me tell you. He wore these short little shorts, and sweat was always dripping down his hairy chest.

We ought so to behave to one another as to avoid making enemies of our friends, and at the same time to make friends of our enemies.

IT and the entire communications business clearly have the greatest potential for growth. But if you're talking about sheer size, the steel and auto industries will remain at the top.

We need to have a president that's going to pledge, as I have - I'm going to make America the number-one manufacturer so working men and women can have good paying jobs again in America.

We must meet violence with violence.