Yesterday I fell completely off the face of the earthContemplating life, light and love in the darkness of the voidStrangely it was in the dark that I found meaning for the light

Remember never to text and drive, it's bad grammar, even if you have a deadline. You might cross the line and dead may be your destination. Think about it!!

Thought about being a stand up comedienne for zombies, but when they eat you alive, they really eat you!!

Years ago there was an old man I knew that told me he didn't trust me, because people with beards were hiding from something. I told him, "That's true, I'm hiding from the barber!!

Just out of sight around a bend in the river there's always a small island full of magic and mystery just waiting for you.

I don't know why they call them Cheerios, I ate an entire box and didn't feel any happier!!

I sprayed my dog with off and he still sits in my favorite chair!!

I have my moments, I just can't remember where I put them.

Turn your diodes this way and pulse...

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, unless it is the burning bush, in that case the value of your bird just went up!!

If a book falls in the woods and nobody read it, was it ever written?

Some people make it really hard to remain as humanly possible

Nothing is impossible, nothing is risky, when you take the action with love, something better will happen.

O, she's warm!If this be magic, let it be an artLawful as eating.

You worry about hurting me, but you never seem to worry about me hurting you. And I’m the one with the killer touch.

Decide to get over it. You know, just let it go. It can be that simple.

I didn't come to stay. I came to make a difference.

You know you're a stoner when your friends make you a Bob Marley cake. You know you smoke way too much f--king weed!

Critics only speak up when they see someone shining. Average work doesn't threaten them.

Keep salaries low and equity high. Keep the organization as flat as you can.