Yesterday, President Obama prank-called a Washington radio station, calling himself 'Barry from D.C.' Then, just to mess with him, Obama called Glenn Beck's radio show as 'B. Hussein from Kenya.'

Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'

If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.

A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die.

I have an abacus at home.

A new presidential poll reveals that Democrats have the edge among voters under 30. The good news for Republicans is that there's only six people under 30 who actually vote.

Ukraine announced plans to open Chernobyl, their nuclear disaster site, to tourists. They say it's just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse is real.

Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.

After making insulting remarks about Mexicans, Donald Trump has been kicked off of NBC and Univision. On the bright side, Trump's hair has a new show on Animal Planet.

Market leadership can translate directly to higher revenue, higher profitability, greater capital velocity, and correspondingly stronger returns on invested capital.

A people's wrath voiced abroad bringeth grave Danger, no less than public curse pronounced.

So sometimes it is an outright manipulation like that, but most of the time I'm just, I'm creating a mood that is a place of comfort for the person and a way for our dialogue to be more fluid.

I have not collected art. Art collected me. I never found paintings. They found me. I have never even owned a work of art. They owned me.

If you avoid difficult things, great things will avoid you.

Any picture that needs a caption is a weak picture.

I went far and now I see that the only one I needed was me.

Many people misjudge the permanent effect of sorrow, and their capacity to live in the past.

What does it say, 'I beat Meryl.'

If people have to tell you how successful they are, they really aren't that successful.