Yesterday, the Senate voted to approve President Clinton's decision to send troops to Bosnia. And they voted to change the name of that mission to "Operation Forget About Whitewater".

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

Since that night you walked through my dreams, the world is full of magic things.

Truly great people in history never wanted to be great for themselves. All they wanted was the chance to do good for others and be close to God.

You can't show me an ad on TV with hard bodies and say I have to buy that car. You have to tell me why that car is better and safer than another car.

You can reconstruct the picture from chaos and memory's ruins.

After seven years of writing - and working many jobs to support my family - I finally got published.

Don't get older just to get wiser. If you get older, you will be wiser, I believe that - if you dare. But get older because it's fun!

I'm not really equipped to do anything else but making movies. In every other aspect of my life I'm a total failure.

It's as simple as you can explain all of 'Dallas.' We're a dysfunctional family forced to stay together.

Now you know where I got my name.

I got my equity card, found my agent, and then I got a part on 'Gilmore Girls.' That turned into a job that kept giving - they wrote more for me.