Yogi Berra put it best, "If people don't want to come, we can't stop them."

If it has to sell its mascot, your team sucks.

Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing.

If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.

What bothers me most about today is that we're getting used 2 it. ENOUGH. 2nd amendment must go. Violence has 2 stop. Culture MUST change.

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.

When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.

I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.

If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick.

I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you're fat or have glasses, don't show up because you'll die.

Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?

Real leaders can change the world, but the world will not change real leaders.

you have to find the words to make it sound important

We are what we build

What a person did when they were in pain said a lot about them.pg 459

My trumpeting sounds like a goose farting in the fog.

There's no room in my life for religion. Religion is separation and segregation of God. How can you segregate the Almighty?

In my sentences I go where no man has gone before.

It is not easy to be solitary unless you are also born ruthless. Every solitary repudiates someone.

Whether it's in the playoffs or not, you have to keep proving yourself.

Oh, why will parents always appear at the wrong time? Some extraordinary mistake in nature, I suppose.