You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.

People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.'

Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works, because in its own way, it's quite theatrical.

You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...

Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.

I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.

Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it.

I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.

You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.

Have your own convictions. Believe in the laws of your conscience because if you believe in everything, you become nothing.

Any man's life can be seen as a series of engagements with his fathers, Including the surrogates provided by life and literature.

The only way you can become brave is, going through the fear but not going away from it.

Dinner a time when . . . one should eat wisely but not too well and talk well but not too wisely.

Who I am on stage is very, very different to who I am in real life.

In volleyball there are many reasons for errors but not a single excuse.

He [Peter Pan] is a metaphor for dreams and faith.

Islam is an ideology and there's a religious component to it that's radicalized and in some cases it masks itself behind that religion, especially in America, because of freedom of religion.

Feminism to me means fighting. It's a very nuanced, complex thing, but at the very core of it I'm a feminist because I don't think being a girl limits me in any way.

Everybody's motivation comes from the core of who they are.