You all have a relative who is an expert even though they really don't know what they're talking about.

The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.

Ill book a ticket on some garbage airline. I dont wanna name an actual airline so lets make one up, lets just call it like Delta Airlines

I was always the squarest person in the cool room, and alternatively, sometimes the weirder person at the mainstream table.

Why do people shush animals? Theyve never spoken

I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting.

I'm a very lucky person. I'm an idiot, and I've shoveled through life rather nicely so far, so I don't feel like I deserve good treatment.

If you’re comparing the badness of two words and you won’t even say one of them [the n-word], that’s the worse word.

All my money is in a savings account. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don't understand it.

I plan to join the 'SNL' band as a maraca player and stand behind saxophonist Lenny Pickett. That way they will at least cut to me before commercial breaks. I'll be sure to look right into camera.

I like when things are crazy. Something good comes out of exhaustion.

The features of character are carved out of adversity.

Don't be afraid to study hard: knowledge never exhausts the mind.

I made a circle with a smile for a mouth on yellow paper, because it was sunshiny and bright.

I am now the most miserable man living. If what I feel were felt by the whole human race, there would not be one cheerful face left on earth.

I think we need to take a step back and realize what the real issues are - it's not being from different places or being different.

Modern art to me is nothing more than the expression of contemporary aims of the age that we're living in.

For the Infinite has sowed his name in the heavens in burning stars, but on the earth He has sowed his name in tender flowers.

Always that "if" was there, which meant that the one who was doomed could avoid the doom if he would change his way of behaving.

I have been an underdog my whole life, both in life and in politics. We're going to do well. We're going to pick up a lot of delegates on Super Tuesday.

Reform is born of need, not pity. No vital movement of the people has worked down, for good or evil; fermented, instead, carried up the heaving, cloggy mass.