You almost have to create situations in order to write about them, so I live in a constant state of self-imposed poverty. I don't want to live any other way.

A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn't.

Don't plant your bad days. They grow into weeks. The weeks grow into months. Before you know it, you got yourself a bad year. Take it from me - choke those little bad days. Choke 'em down to nothing.

We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness. We are monkeys with money and guns.

I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.

when your down on your luck and you've lost all your dreams theres nothing like a campfire and a can of beans

I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things.

The folks who know the truth aren't talking.... The ones who don't have a clue, you can't shut them up!

You have to keep busy. After all, no dog's ever pissed on a moving car.

When I was younger, I wanted to be older. Now I am older, I am not quite so sure.

Most people don't care if you're telling them the truth or if you're telling them a lie, as long as they're entertained by it.

What is the essence of having a brain if you cannot question the things you hear or see?

Graduation Speech: You'll have to excuse me if I cry. I've been a little teary-eyed all week the sadness the joy . . . the fact that I'm off my parents' payroll.

One does not arrest Voltaire.

Baseball is a game played by idiots for morons.

We are the architects of our own happiness

I've learned that social media and our private lives, you know, our private lives are not so private anymore, so it takes a little bit of getting used to.

There are some films that really break the mold, and some films that don't. I've been looking for films that break the mold a bit.

There's nothing like biting off more than you can chew, and then chewing anyway.

When it rains manna from heaven, some people put up an umbrella. Others reach for a big spoon.

Truth is not found by knowledge, it is found by silence. And knowledge is noisy.