You are ten times more likely to get hit by a car when the driver is aiming for you.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

How do you have to live, I wondered, to be in harmony with what you honestly think?

Can't get myself down by thinking about what could have been, right?

You have a spark. It is real. It is you. And right now, it is being activated. You cannot ignore the spark any longer.

There is nothing safer than flying - it's crashing that is dangerous.

Design is defined by light and shade, and appropriate lighting is enormously important.

Proverbs were anterior to boots, and formed the wisdom of the vulgar, and in the earliest ages were the unwritten laws of morality.

If you read a lot, nothing is as great as you've imagined. Venice is - Venice is better.

I am trying to do two things: dare to be a radical and not a fool, which is a matter of no small difficulty.

They've been talking about Pi, which I haven't seen, they've been comparing it to Usual Suspects, Sixth Sense, and Fight Club, and I didn't see that either.

I don't like all of the music to be serious and deadly.