You are very clever," said the old man shyly. "I would like to eat your brains, one day.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Let us worry about beauty first, and truth will take care of itself.

If the Muslims keep their heads cool and accept progress as a means and not an end in itself, they may pass on to Western man the lost secret of life's sweetness.

Someone's writing down your mistakes, someone's documenting your downfall.

Look, I'm going to find a way to be happy, and I'd really love to be happy with you, but if I can't be happy with you, then I'll find a way to be happy without you.

Once you accept your own death, all of a sudden you are free to live.

The people who loved me when I was seven years old love my books, and the people who didn't like me when I was seven years old don't like my books.

Music is my drug, the one thing that makes me numb.

The most important lesson in managing our careers as we get older: Sometimes staying the game is as simple as not leaving the room.

To exhibit the perfect uselessness of knowing the answer to the wrong question.

The word-coining genius, as if thought plunged into a sea of words and came up dripping.