You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Love in its essence is spiritual fire.

Who loves a garden, still his Eden keeps, Perennial pleasures plants, and wholesome harvests reaps.

The worlds civilization started from the day on which everyone received reward for labour.

The park grass looked greener, the park benches looked better and the flowers were trying harder.

I was the freak who moved into the nice neighborhood.

Laughter and happiness is what life should be about, that’s your remedy for everything.

Any day alive in this world is a charmed life.

Breaking the ice in the pitcher seems to be a feature of the early lives of all great men.

A form of art that I like is portraiture. I've been thinking about portraiture, and its relationship to writing and literature, biography and autobiography, and so that will be my next thing.

For seventeen hundred years the Christian sect has done nothing but harm.